Sami CattNicholas Sparks Adaptations: Just Say 'No'
September 22nd 2008 05:37
I have a confession to make. Once upon a time, I was a Nicholas Sparks reader. Oh, I could try and excuse it by saying I was young and silly and it was just passing folly. Maybe it was. Either way, it’s shameful, I know. But I kinda, sorta also liked a couple of the movies. Not all, mind you. But who wouldn’t cheer on the adorable Rachel McAdams in The Notebook? Exactly.
And in my defence, I saw the error of my ways and totally realised one day that (a) Nicholas Sparks novels are not only emotional pornography, but they’re the tacky, B-grade kind; and (b) the story in each book was usually the same as all the others, with just names, places (all sleepy American towns btw) and a crucial event (but someone always dies) changed.
So you know where I’m at with Sparky about now. Not a fan anymore. In fact, I'm proud to say that I can’t even remember the last book of his I read. Ipso facto, it should come as no surprise that I felt the nausea creep in and overtake me when I saw the trailer for the latest Hollywood adaptation of one of his gems, Nights in Rodanthe. Naturally it’s about a great love, loss, redemption and great love. Wait, did I mention that it’s about great love?
Watch fromage film trailer here:
Fromage film trailer
I don’t know if it’s the cheesy rock ballad blasting throughout, the earnest expression Richard Gere has throughout, the weepy expression Diane Lane has throughout, or the cringe worthy, paint-by-number moments we’re being treated to throughout (the conversation with the boisterous girlfriend who says totally inappropriate but, of course, hilarious things about the heroine while they sit on a beach sipping something alcoholic, the confrontation where the hero asks the heroine why she's afraid to love (why, damn it? why?!) , and so on and so forth).
OK, it’s all of the above that make it so god awful.
I’m just wondering when and how Nights ever seemed like a good idea. It just looks so tacky and overly emotional. Too sugary sweet. And not in a good way.
Please, Sparky. No more. You’ve made enough money now. Made plenty of hearts swoon. Got a decent number of screen adaptations under your belt. Increased sales of Kleenex. Please leave us alone now and stop glamorising mediocrity. I beg of you.
And in my defence, I saw the error of my ways and totally realised one day that (a) Nicholas Sparks novels are not only emotional pornography, but they’re the tacky, B-grade kind; and (b) the story in each book was usually the same as all the others, with just names, places (all sleepy American towns btw) and a crucial event (but someone always dies) changed.
So you know where I’m at with Sparky about now. Not a fan anymore. In fact, I'm proud to say that I can’t even remember the last book of his I read. Ipso facto, it should come as no surprise that I felt the nausea creep in and overtake me when I saw the trailer for the latest Hollywood adaptation of one of his gems, Nights in Rodanthe. Naturally it’s about a great love, loss, redemption and great love. Wait, did I mention that it’s about great love?
Watch fromage film trailer here:
Fromage film trailer
I don’t know if it’s the cheesy rock ballad blasting throughout, the earnest expression Richard Gere has throughout, the weepy expression Diane Lane has throughout, or the cringe worthy, paint-by-number moments we’re being treated to throughout (the conversation with the boisterous girlfriend who says totally inappropriate but, of course, hilarious things about the heroine while they sit on a beach sipping something alcoholic, the confrontation where the hero asks the heroine why she's afraid to love (why, damn it? why?!) , and so on and so forth).
OK, it’s all of the above that make it so god awful.
I’m just wondering when and how Nights ever seemed like a good idea. It just looks so tacky and overly emotional. Too sugary sweet. And not in a good way.
Please, Sparky. No more. You’ve made enough money now. Made plenty of hearts swoon. Got a decent number of screen adaptations under your belt. Increased sales of Kleenex. Please leave us alone now and stop glamorising mediocrity. I beg of you.
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